10 Books That Changed My Life
Hi friend 👋
First and foremost, happy lunar new year to those who celebrate 🧧 ! This year is the year of the Ox: I hope we can this year will endow is with more strength, more resilience and more grit to overcome our personal and professional hardships and these difficult times we live in.
In today's blogpost I would like to share with you 10 books that have truly changed my life. As you will see from the list, I am mostly drawn to non-fiction books that give practical advice you can apply to your life. Don't get me wrong I do love fiction too, especially fantasy (Harry Potter, hey). I like that when I revisit these books at different stages of my life, I can appreciate them from a different angle and grasp the meaning in a new light.
I firmly believe that whatever it is you wish to tackle in your life, whether it is your career, money, relationships, confidence, health.. you can pick up a book that someone has spent decades on researching and benefit from their shared wisdom.
Without further ado, here is the list. I hope you enjoy it 😊
1. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
I read this book in the second year of my undergraduate studies, and let me tell you. This book was a real game-changer! It was my first introduction into mindfulness and meditation and Mr. Tolle describes these concepts in a very accessible and practical way. Admittedly, I've always had an affinity towards spirituality so it wasn't hard for me to immerse myself in his teachings; but even if you are not a fan of yoga, and incense I do believe that this book will give you some valuable insights on how to live in the Now, how to let go of your past and your expectations of the future that are the breeding ground for depression and anxiety, how to make the most of each moment as if you are living it for the first time -- wait, you are actually living it for the first time. And this is amazing, and we all need to not take it for granted and see the gift of Now, which really is a present 🎁
2. The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael Singer
This book deals with similar topics as The Power of Now, and is a great alternative for those who are completely new to the topic. I'd say Mr. Singer focuses more on the 'inner voice' in our head and how we can let go of the incessant chatter that just wear us down. I'd recommend this book to anyone who wants a more 'casual' and easier introduction into mindfulness. Mr. Singer reminds us to let go of blockages as energy can build up in our bodies, especially around our hearts and we may carry it around, perhaps even decades without knowing it.
3. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
Shortly after the Power of Now, I stumbled across this book by Don Miguel Ruiz. A super practical book on four fundamental principles we all should live by if we want to have a more stress-free, meaningful live. For a book based on principles in our personal and work life, see Ray Dalio’s book which I recommend below. It is essential, that we all form our internal GPS system that guides us in difficult situations affecting our work and our relationships. Based on Toltec teachings, the The Four Agreements help us move closer to personal freedom, happiness and love are.
The Four Agreements are:
Be Impeccable With Your Word. Your word is the power that you have to create. Your word is the most powerful tool you have, but like a sword with two edges, your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything.
Don’t Take Anything Personally. Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one you live in.
Don't Make Assumptions. Because we are afraid to ask for clarification, we make assumptions that we believe are right, then we defend our assumptions and try to make other wrong.
Always Do Your Best. If you have done your best and your inner Judge tries to judge you according to your Book of Laws, you’ve got the answer: “I did my best.” There are no regrets. This is why you always do your best.
And if we honour these, and live by them - and I believe all of us inherently know these to be true yet sometimes we get so caught up in life that we forget - we can live our full potential and reduce the amount of unnecessary misunderstandings and conflicts in our lives.
I often find myself revisiting these principles, which seem so easy yet are so hard to live by sometimes. I especially struggle with "Don't take anything personally" and "don't make assumptions". Especially in our personal relationships, it takes guts and a moment of vulnerability to enquire whether the other person is on the same page as you and check on each other's expectations.
“Everything we do in life is based on the agreements we have made — agreements with ourselves, with other people, with society, with God. But the most important agreements are the one we make with ourselves.”
4. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Another quick-read but incredibly universal and life-changing if you want to transform your relationships. This one is particularly important for romantic relationships. It suggests that we all have preferred love languages we give and receive (these do not need to be the same). The five languages are: words of affirmation, acts of services, physical touch, gift and quality time. We all 'hear' and experience love in different ways and it is important to understand what we like to receive to feel loved and what our partner needs to feel loved. For example, while I may really appreciate when my partner 'helps' me with something, like a project or fixing my bike which are both acts of service, my partner may feel appreciated when I give him a hug or a back rub. It is important to understand what we both value to avoid any misunderstandings, and make our partner feel loved and appreciated.
5. Things I know for Sure by Oprah Winfrey
I could not create a reading list without mentioning my all time role model / superstar idol Oprah 🧡. This book is a mix between autobiography and life lessons. It offers great insight into her journey from her humble beginning as a high school reporter to landing her dream job in Chicago (after being fired from another programme!). I am like a sponge when it comes to anything that Oprah teaches (highly recommend her Harvard commencement speech or talk at Stanford). I like that she teaches us to follow our own inner voice and truth that will lead us towards our true North; to give back to community; to serve (ourselves, our community, a higher purpose). To trust ourselves.
6. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
I purchased this book after hearing Will Smith talk about it, maybe six years ago. It narrates the journey of a shepherd in search of a treasure. On his journey he comes across various challenges and even finds love (although he then leaves the girl to continue his journey). At the end, he find out that the real treasure is hidden where he began his journey. An analogy to live and self-discovery the one quote that stuck with me ever since is the following: "when you really want something to happen, the whole universe will conspire so that your wish comes true". This is certainly one of the things I know for sure. When your goals, your purpose and your desire align with your spirit and your heart and you pursue it like there is no other option, you will be sure to succeed.
7. Dare to Lead by Brené Brown
I came across Dr. Brown’s work when I stumbled upon her TED talk on the Power of Vulnerability, which has since gone viral. Like many, I became curious in this topic and almost immediately purchased all of her books. Dare to Lead in particular resonated greatly with me. Although the title may suggest that it is a book on leadership, I would contend that it is an insight into building more courageous cultures at work. This book offers some tools on how to do this. While addressed at leaders, I believe we can all benefit from the methods. According to the research that Dr. Brown and her team has done there are four skills sets needed to become a courageous leader:
Rumbling with Vulnerability
Living into Our Values
Braving Trust
Learning to Rise
A rumble is a discussion, conversation, or meeting defined by a commitment to lean into our vulnerability, to stay curious and generous, to stick with the messy middle of problem identification and solving, to take a break and circle back when necessary, to be fearless in owning our parts, and to listen with the same passion with which we want to be heard.
8. Principles by Ray Dalio
Ray Dalio is a billionaire investor and founder of Bridgewater, an investment management company. I like this book because Mr. Dalio offers principles for both work and life. I'd say there are pretty solid and mostly focus on accountability, transparency and radical truths. Being truthful with others but also with ourselves and facing reality instead of making up stories on how reality ought to be. The lessons offered in this book really empower me to look more honestly at my own weaknesses and not find excuses for why things didn't work out. It empowers me to not be ashamed or scared of my inadequacies but in fact, get excited about the growth opportunity that is there. And above all, to stay radically open-minded to feedback.
9. The Four-Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss
This book by Tim Ferris, who also has a successful podcast called The Tim Ferris Show is somewhat of a digital nomad / entrepreneur, really opened my eyes to the infinite opportunities that the internet offers us to live more freely and be more productive. I like how he gives tangible advice on leveraging the power of the internet and geographical arbitrage to maximise our time devoted to original and creative thinking. His method can be summarised by the acronym DEAL(Definition, Elimination, Automation, Liberation).
It also made me question my view on work, which has been influenced by the traditional 9-5 myth that so many follow. Now, I am at a stage where I really want to apply what I have learned in this book and this blog, for example, is a start 😀
10. Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki
Growing up Asian, I was always taught the importance and value of money. Not that my parents were particularly materialistic or stingy, but they taught me to respect money and spend it wisely. This book dives deeper on why some may attain financial freedom and others continue to trade their time for money. It teaches valuable lessons on investing and making money work for you. I like this book because, apart from your parents if you are lucky, no one really teaches financial literacy or strategies to attain financial freedom. This book made me rethink my financial goals and my view on money, which really is just a medium of exchange, society once agreed on.
Some honourable mentions:
The 7 Habits of Effective People by Stephen Covey
If you are looking for a book to get more productive, I highly recommend this book. It breaks down how we can get more done in a day without losing focus on our long-term goals. Ever had a day where you have been terribly busy yet felt unproductive towards the end? Then this book is for you.
The Art of Thinking Clearly by Rolf Dobelli
After reading Thinking Fast and Slow by Nobel-prize winner Daniel Kahneman, I got more interested in behavioural psychology and learned that almost all of our decisions are driven by daily emotions. They are powerful. And most of the time, we are not even aware of the underlying drivers of our decisions. Mr. Dobelli, a Swiss author, debunks some of the most common mistakes we make when taking a decision (confirmation bias, cognitive bias, simple errors).
Factfulness by Hans Rosling
This one is a must read if you are interested in global health or international development. Mr. Rosling, a renowned Swedish physician and professor, shows us the progress we have made in overall reducing infant and childhood mortality around the world and that now less people live in extreme poverty than 20 years ago. There are some more fun facts in the book, which I may publish in a later post. Again, must-read for anyone in global health!